We’ve had more and more interest in NLp4Kids from practitioners who are overseas and cannot get to the UK to train.

As such I have two very exciting offers to tell you about.

The first one is NOT READY YET and I will be in touch just as soon as we have all of the steps in place but for now I need to know the following….Where are you?!

I’m looking to run 3 NLP4Kids overseas events later this year.

If you are located in one of the following countries and have a genuine interest in signing up to join the NLP4kids team, please click the relevant link below.

In a few weeks we will be in touch with further information about the next steps we will be taking.

I am in America

I am in Australia

I am in New Zealand

Rubbish.

Find out why in this show!

Rubbish.

I have consistently focused on a new car (whilst still cherishing the old one for continuing to start each day) for the last 4 years and I still haven’t got one. How long specifically does it take for a thought to manifest itself into a thing?

And what then of all of the so called negative thoughts I have on a day to day basis? If I think “I should put my seat belt on incase I crash” am I manifesting a crash for the future which I then need to take responsibility for, because I thought it and brought it into my awareness?

I remember once teaching a room full of NLP Practitioners & Master Practitioners and giving them ‘Rules For The Room’, which was a list of “whilst in the room do not do this…” Two People on the course objected to the “don’t do this…” list because they felt it wasn’t very NLP to focus on what we didn’t want.

The truth is though there are plenty of times when knowing what you do not want is as important (if not more so) than what you do want.

I do not want to ever experience a plane crash, but I am glad someone has dedicated their lifes work into formulating the plans of what steps to take should one occur. Did that person die in a plane crash as a result of thinking about them so much? What about hair dressers who mix hair colours in a particular way because they want to avoid giving the customer green or orange hair. Does it happen because they are thinking about it?

Do the people who fit abs breaks continuously drive into lamp posts when they’re on the road?

Knowing what you need to avoid can be both useful and important. More than that it is sometimes the driver for diverting you towards what you do want instead. Sometimes people forget the final step of being diverted to what they want and this is obviously a problem. But if there is a clear balance between what you don’t want and what you do, then this should keep the affirmations positive but importantly realistic too.

What does an NLPer say when their child is about to run out in front of a bus?

“That’s a lovely walking style to make it even better when crossing the road, wait until the bus is passed but overall it is lovely to see you being so independant”

Whereas most others say “Stop!” “Don’t cross when there is a bus coming or you will get run over!” The NLPers will all be worrying about the unconscious not processing the negatives in the sentence but there are times when we must focus on what to avoid. Back it up with details about what you want and feed back positively when you see it. Don’t rule out the away froms. Being negative isn’t always negative (especially if it is backed up with a positive).

Plus there is a question from Gemma about Common Purpose….

It has been working extremely well with children.

Sometimes using “formal” trance doesn’t work. Especially with children and adults with busy brains that they cannot quiet.

It is working well because I think, I’m throwing it in at the end of a session, just as one might do with a session of hypnosis to round off the other great work you may have done using NLP techniques.

I say something like “Ok, we have covered everything we can here today with the time that we had available but we still have a few minutes left. A few minutes to fill with something…..is there anything else you wanted to mention? An little issues you wanted to clear out having sorted all the other stuff we did earlier?”

There are a couple of sneaky presuppositions thrown in here

1) The issues they will share will be little, whether they used to perceive them that way or not.

2) The issues will be cleared out. Their minds will be clear as soon as the issue is out of their mouth

3) We have assumed that the stuff we worked on earlier is sorted now.

Once they have told me the issue, I then respond to it with a story, anecdote or reframe which allows them to access thinking and feeling about overcoming the issue. I ask them very little but say a lot, sometimes acting things out or making it funny.

It’s not about having a conversation. It is an awakened trance which is achievable because they are relaxed having overcome some challenges/learned some techniques to help them overcome challenges already. It in some ways works better than diving into a trance at the beginning of the session because they have had plenty of time for rapport building and relaxing. They are in a much more comfortable place by the end of the session compared to at the start.

Sometimes I use the awakened trance at the end of my consultations too. Once they have offloaded their problems and received some hope of a solution they become very relieved and very suggestible. Quite often people have come to see me at the start of their treatment, claiming that they are getting better already just from the consultation, although no formal work was done.

A great example of an awakened trance recently was a boy I worked with who was self harming. He had cuts to his hands, knees and arms.

We had worked together for 3 sessions and on the 3rd session we had 10 minutes to use up at the end of the session. He said he felt everything was going to be ok now so I asked the question above to find out if there were any little things that we could mop up before I let him go for good.

He said that sometimes his scabs were itchy where the self harming was stopping and beginning to heal. I told him it’s where the skin is pulling back together to rejoin and heal. “The itchiness means the skin is pulling and fusing. All of those little red marks that are left by the scabs after they fall off completely on their own, will be red for a while because they are brand new skin for a brand new body. But in just a few months from now they will no longer be red and then you will forget that they ever were or that you ever used to harm yourself.”

It was just 10 minutes of saying things like this, putting his problems in a forgotten past and accepting that everything will be fresh and new in the future. I think it made a difference.

Book your free seat here: www.nlp4kids.org/freeevent

I know, from the results my team and I have been getting in schools and with private one-to-one clients that we, as adults, can make a difference to a young persons life – if we know how to approach the situation correctly with the right set of skills.
And this is what this special (possibly one-off) day is all about.
I’d like to introduce you to a new type of coaching and communication programme that has a ready made audience – the millions of young people in the UK.
My colleague, Salli Glover, who also has an extensive background in the youth sector will demonstrate, by way of example and practical exercises:
• How to motivate a young person to see their future differently
• How to give a teenager a sense of destiny and control over their life
• Why no child is ever a lost cause
• How to inspire youngsters to contribute to their community

Book your free seat here: www.nlp4kids.org/freeevent

We’ll also show you how these skills can easily be marketed…
• In to schools
• Youth groups
• Colleges
• Private clients
By the end of the day you will know two things:
1. Whether you want to work with young people
2. Whether our unique combination of skills and results are ones you would like to learn.
Registration for this event is free and places are allocated on a first come-first served basis.
However, I want to be totally transparent.
I’m not putting on this day to offer a free training. I’m putting it on so that you can see the approaches we use so IF THEY ARE RIGHT FOR YOU – you can make an informed decision to invest – and we have made it affordable for most.

Book your free seat here: www.nlp4kids.org/freeevent

Ian has taught some of his mind boggling skills to the like of Derren Brown, The FBI, The Olympic GB team and of course me.

He has very kindly given me permission to share with the readers of the People Building Newsletter -completely free of charge as a special Christmas gift- a copy of a talk he recently gave which details the amazing techniques that you can learn to:

- Persuade anyone to do anything
- How you can achieve happiness – and what does that really mean?

Quite frankly I didn’t have to try very hard to create this gift for you, but it was such a great gift to me, I wanted you to have it too.

Download your copy of Mind Twists here.

The ….’s at the end of the sentence above are space for one or more of the following:

-music is too loud

-you want to sit down at a concert

-your breasts have stretched to your belly button

- you’d rather stay in than have a night out

- you just don’t want to have sex any more

- policemen start looking too young

Recently I was listening to the radio and a well known rapper was talking about what older people would say in response to his music. He said that people would quite openly tell him that they didn’t like his work or that they thought it was rubbish. Hearing him speak he really did sound like an offended youth, thinking that people who didn’t like his music were simply out of touch with reality.

The interviewer asked him how he coped with that and he replied that in the past he used to become quite upset by people’s comments. Sometimes getting defensive and fighting back against their unsolicited feedback. This can’t be an easy thing to do, as there is a sort of in built rule that even though those older than you can be wrong, you still should respect their wrongness. That there is something about your granny saying “This isn’t bloody music, it’s just a lot of talking and shouting” that makes her right despite the fact that you might secretly enjoy a bit of Eminem.

Then he said he changed his approach to the people who told him they didn’t like his work. Instead of getting offended by it, he asked himself “Would this feedback mean as much to me if it were being said by a 4 year old?”

Of course the answer was “No!”

If a 4 year old child walked up to you and said “Your work is rubbish and I don’t like your hair” your response would probably be to say go away and think what a rude and silly child have silly moment. You would forget about it very quickly and take their comments with a pinch of salt.

You could take any offensive comment and hear/see/experience in your mind a little 4 year old saying the bad words your boss/partner/mum/whoever said. Maybe you can image it is a little 4 year old them saying it. I bet you’ll end up reacting very very differently to them!

And I wonder then, what would happen if you only ever became offended like a 4 year old. This would I believe involve saying “Well I don’t care!” Then you need to stamp you foot, march and and very quickly get distracted by an aeroplane in the sky, or do a dance or draw a picture and instantly forget about what was said and get on with doing something else instead.

By Gemma Bailey
www.HypnotherapyandNLP.co.uk

Does having a reward always lead you to behaving in the best possible way or are you better off going without? Find out in this podcast.