People Building
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Why Specifically was the NLPer so happy?
Because the NLPer MET A MODEL.
Why was the modality not picked for the team?
Because he was a sub-modality.
What part of NLP did the snooker hall manager always say he used whenever people asked to play in his snooker hall?
I accessing Cues.
What pattern in NLP is most used by speed seducers?
In Bedded Commands.
After a hypnotic trance, the hypnotist brought his class out of a trance where they floated above their life and filled it with good feelings. Afterwards one of his students was amazed… he said: “WOW it feels like I’ve been here for years… and wow… how is everyone else doing? What did we do?”
The hypnotist replied “Yeah… Time lyin’… their ‘appy”
When Frogs into Princes did so well, why didn't Richard and John bring out a sequel... Frogs into Princesses?
Because they weren't stupid. Any bloke knows that even suggesting a girl was a frog would result in that look, that tone of voice or something much much worse. It would have to be called: Princesses into Happier Princesses.
Why did the man bring his photographs to the NLP Practitioner?
Because he heard they did REFRAMING.
Why was the NLPer so annoyed with himself when his boat floated away from the dock?
Because he forgot to set his anchor.
Why did the NLPer cross the road?
It doesn't matter. What matters is how they crossed the road.
Did you hear about the guy who had a case of reverse paranoia?
He kept thinking he was following everyone else.
Did you hear about the magnet that got a divorce?.
Yeah, apparently he claimed they were no longer attracted because they were both too negative.
How many NLPers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just make the pictures brighter.
Why did the NLPer cross the road?
It's not important. What is important is how specifically did they cross the road?
What is a sound mans favourite presupposition of NLP?
There's no such thing as failure OR FEEDBACK!!!
How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one. But it takes a long time, costs a lot of money and the light bulb has to want to change.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Why do you feel the need to ask that question. Does it make you scared not to know the answer?
How many paranoids does it take to change a light bulb?
Why are you picking on me. I know this is about me. How the hell did you know I needed to change a light bulb?
I heard an interesting definition of LECTURING recently:
It's the transfer of the lecturers notes to the students notes without it going through the brains of either.
What do you get when you cross a NLP principle with a priest?
A Priestupposition
What do you get when you cross an NLP Principle while walking under a ladder?
A Presuperstition
What do you call a Therapist with no marketing skills?
You don’t, they call you.
